Notes from a Psychologist
Dr. Mel Whitehurst

                  KEEP ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE

                                 DON’T INSULT THE ANTS

Surprisingly, ants behave much like humans when they’ve been offended.  According to insect researcher Dr. Ken Cheng of Macquarie University, the black garden ant appears to be the group of ants most capable of holding a grudge. 

Cheng's studies found that black garden ants living in one colony can remember hostile encounters with ants from a neighboring colony and may later retaliate by attacking them aggressively.

The ant-grudge phenomenon may be even more widespread than we realize.  If you're getting bitten while working in your yard, you may have inadvertently offended the local ants.  In my own experience, fire ants and carpenter ants seem easily offended, and also appear capable of holding grudges.  I have the bites to prove it.

Perhaps we should show a little more kindness to ants in the future before launching an expensive all-out attack with bug killers.  Maybe one of us will develop the rare ability to “talk to the ants” like Dr. Doolittle did to animals to calm them down.

SOURCE

Cheng, Ken, School of Natural Sciences, Macquarie University, Associative Learning Helps Ants to Hold Grudges, Journal of Experimental Psychology:  Animal Learning and Cognition, 2026, Vol. 52, No. 2, 57-58

                  I’M SOMETIMES A NUISANCE—BUT NO MORE

I’ve been searching for an answer to most human problems, and I think I’ve finally found a good first step:  require everyone to shake hands and introduce themselves. 

This simple act might be the easiest path to a more perfect world.  When people are busy shaking hands and sincerely getting to know one another, they’re far less likely to find time for stirring up trouble.

And all of this could all be done at no cost.

Note

I borrowed this idea from comedian George Carlin.

                             FIVE PROVEN FACTS

From this mathematical formula, I have derived five proven facts:  A+B/N-15=X 

1.If you look back, someone will gain on you.

2.You can’t put your elbow in your ear.

3.In no other country on earth can a wannabe ballroom dancer grow up to become president of the United States.

4.You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd or drive around with a tiger in your car.

5.The sun will come up tomorrow.

NOTE

I am now working on a new formula to prove everything.  Any suggestions?

                                           DO NOT DO THIS

Bob Newhart played this wacky psychologist on a comedy TV program many years ago.  His group therapy clients engaged in all sorts of goofy and funny behavior.  He had only one therapeutic technique for solving their problems.  He would simply look at them and say, “JUST STOP IT!”

I “once” decided to test this approach when I had a disagreement with my wife.  It did not turn out well.

So, I highly recommend that you do not try the “JUST STOP IT” technique.  This could a dangerous risk.

                        HUMANS ARE VERY PREDICTABLE

If you step on their toe, they will not thank you.

If you call them a loser and incompetent idiot, they will not like you.

If you disagree with them, they will argue with you.

If you tell them they are wrong, they will not believe you.

If you don’t go to their funeral, they will not go to yours. (Said Yoga Berra)

                     HOW STUPID DOES HE THINK WE ARE?

Little Bo Peep is a well-known nursery rhyme shown below…

Little Bo Peep has lost his sheep
And dosen’t know where to find them
But leave them alone, and they‘ll come home
Wagging their tails behind them

Does anyone expect us to be naïve enough to believe this nursery rhyme? 

If little Bo Peep had lost his sheep everybody knows he would not know where to find them.  Duh!

But he turns around and says, “leave them alone.”  I ask you, if he did not know where to find his sheep would he not have to leave them alone?  Duh!

And finally, he claims they’ll come home waging their tails behind them.  Did he think they would be wagging their tails in front.  Duh!

(Borrowed idea from an old comic routine I saw more than 50 years ago.)

 

                               A CAUTIONIONARY NOTE

“Beware of an old man in a hurry.”   (Lord Randolph Churchill)

Note:  If you see me in a hurry, look to see what’s chasing me.  Probably a turtle.

                              DO YOU HAVE A SAD NOSE?

A few of my psychologists colleagues have been spending an unexpected amount of time studying noses.  Their latest research suggests a strong link between sadness and our sense of smell.  When people feel down, their ability to smell seems to drop as well.

But which comes first? Does sadness dull our sense of smell, or does a weakened sense of smell help usher in sadness?  So far, no one knows for sure.

My advice, however, is simple: if you’re feeling blue, try giving the world an extra sniff or two.  It might just lift your spirits.

SOURCE

Elena Flohr, Elena Erwin, Ilona Croy, & Thomas Hummel, Sad Man’s Nose:  Emotion Induction and Olfactory Perception, Emotion, 2017, Vol. 17, No. 2, 369-378

 

                        THIS IDEA WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPIER

Never hold a dust buster and cat at the same time.

                          CATS AND RATS ARE AT IT AGAIN

All my life I’ve heard people say, “I smell a rat” whenever they suspected something shady was going on.  Astonishingly, I just learned the idiom has it all wrong.  It should be, “I smell a cat.” 

Two researchers, Robert Dielenberg and Ian McGregor, ran an experiment to compare the smelling abilities of cats and rats.  They discovered that cats were far easier to smell than rats, and that rats could detect a cat much more easily than a cat could detect a rat.

So, the next time you catch a whiff of something shady, odds are you’re smelling a cat—not a rat.

Source

Robert Dielenberg and Ian McGreggor, Habituation of the Hiding Response to Cat Odor in Rats (Rattus norvegicus), Journal of Comparative Psychology, 1999, Vol. 113, No. 4, 376-387

                                       MESSAGE TO SNEEZERS

It is surely difficult to predict exactly when you will next sneeze.  However, according to university researchers, if we broaden our view to the larger collection of all humans on earth, we can predict that in the next second there’ll be roughly 86,000 sneezes worldwide. 

Now, if just half of all sneezers decided to blow their nose after a sneeze, we will soon be faced with a worldwide shortage of tissue, not to mention the number of trees lost. 

My suggestion is for all of us dedicate one day a week to not sneezing.

SOURCE

B. Hansen and N. Mygind, HOW OFTEN DO NORMAL PERSONS SNEEZE AND BLOW THEIR NOSE, Rhinoogy, Vol. 40, No. 1, March 2002, 10-12.

                                   THE BUG SPLAT STUDIES

A scientist in Denmark has revealed some noteworthy findings from his research on bugs.  According to his study, Bug splats on car windshields declined a staggering 80% in Denmark.  He suspects this is caused by a concurrent decline in the insect population. 

Even so, we need to get to the bottom of this disturbing situation because declining bug splats are likely to migrate to the US.  A collapse in bug splats, would devastate the windshield-cleaning industry, trigger a chain reaction on Wallstreet, and ultimately wipe out seniors’ retirement savings.

I hope we elect leaders who are pro bug splat so we can save seniors.

                      DO YOU WANT TO BE AN HONEST PERSON?

Social psychologist Dr. Dan Ariely showed in a controlled research study that when people are hungry or thirsty, they’re more likely to behave dishonestly.  Therefore, if you want me to own up to the truth hand me a piece of cake first.  (Chocolate cake works better on me than a lie detector ever invented.

My conclusion from this study is to eat plenty of your favorite desert if you want to be an honest person.

SOURCE

The Valjean effect:  Visceral States and Cheating, Emotion, Vol.16, 2016

 

                             YOU COULD HAVE QUAINT EARS

Some time back, during the height of the Covid pandemic, I had to show my driver’s license at my doctor’s office.  Imagine this, I had on my facemask, glasses and hat, which left only my two ears fully visible.  The nurse amusingly said that she could recognize different types of ears, and mine were “quaint-looking.”  I’m still not completely certain but I think she was putting me on.

As a result of this weird encounter, I am calling for medical science to develop a new “ear recognition” system so we will not have future calamitous ear mix ups at the doctor’s office.

Lastly, I don’t think I have quaint ears.  They are more whimsical looking.  A good ear recognition system would have got it whimsically right the first time.