The purpose of Notes from a Psychologist is to encourage and inspire the spread of optimism and hope.  Optimistic thinkers tend to be happier and healthier. I'll keep posting new ideas periodically.  Meanwhile....think positive 

CAN YOU NAME ANY POLITICAL LEADERS WHO ENJOY “GETTING EVEN”?

Social psychologists note from numerous studies that most people are surprisingly quick to seek revenge when they feel wronged—especially if they believe they can do so without getting caught.

While revenge can offer a brief sense of satisfaction, those who pursue it often end up brooding over the incident far longer than usual, ultimately feeling worse.

Still, despite the emotional cost, the desire to “get even” remains a powerful and persistent human impulse.

SOURCES

Kevin Carlsmith, Timothy Wilson & Daniel Gilbert, The Paradoxical Consequences of Revenge, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2008, Vol. 95(8), 1316-1324.

Peter Fisher, Alexander Haslam & Laura Smith, “If you Wrong Us, Shall We Not Revenge?” Social Identity Salience Moderates Support for Retaliation in Response to Collective Threat, Group Dynamics, Theory, Research and Practice, 2010, Vol. 14(2), 243-150,

 

BRUSHING YOUR CAT’S TEETH MAY NOT BE A GOOD IDEA

When I was in elementary school my brother and I decided to wash our cat Tom’s teeth.  My mother’s toothbrush was the quickest one available.  Even though I warned my brother that we would get into trouble, he persisted in going ahead.  Tom was not very cooperative.  It was a wild scene brushing his teeth.  As a matter of fact, I still have a couple of scratch-mark scars after Tom got through demonstrating his ferocity.  Naturally, we got caught by our mother.  We both got doubly punished for this indiscretion:  one by a bunch of painful scratches and another sitting in the corner for an hour.

My personal recommendation is to never attempt to wash your cat’s teeth with your mother’s toothbrush.

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU CAN’T DO THAT YOU WISH YOU COULD DO?

I’ve often wonder about things I would like to know how to do that are beyond my skills and abilities.  Here’s my short list.

I WOULD LIKE TO...

…yodel like Eddie Arnold or Leann Rimes.

…sing charmingly like Kermit the Frog, especially the song It Isn’t Easy Being    Green.

…do two things at the same time.

…be an above average smiler.

…be happy 90% or more of the time.

…figure out when political leaders are telling the truth.

…convince Republicans and Democrats to bring more positivity and optimism to the world instead of malicious acrimony.

…help every person in America get the very best health care.

…help every senior citizen to use their vast experience and developed talents to solve the problem of violence in America.

                GELETOPHOBES OF THE WORLD, LIGHTEN UP

I ate a clock yesterday.  It was very time consuming.

I love comical people.  I even collect funny clowns.  Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel are the two funniest slapstick clowns ever. I have statues of them on my desk.  Anyone who brings laughter to the world gets my full attention.  I like to chuckle, snicker, and even chortle at times.  When I’m laughing, life for the moment seems okay, and I can usually sustain this okay feeling for quite a while.

Social psychologists say that people who can laugh, have more lasting relationships and feel happier than non-laughers.  They also say that geletophobes, non-laughers who have a fear of being laughed at, have less joy in life and more depression.

So, give three cheers to the laughers of the world.

             THE INTERESTING EFFECTS OF UNSEEN FORCES

After conducting a wide-ranging study of the scientific evidence for unseen spiritual forces, I did not change my questioning attitude, but I did gain noteworthy insights.  Here’s what I found.

Experimental evidence about the so-called psi phenomena is at least plausible.  Meta-analysis of psi protocols generally supports the premise that telepathy (direct mind-to-mind communication from one person to another) and clairvoyance (out of the ordinary knowledge of distant events) are detectible in some research studies.  Additionally, distant healing such as prayer and other forms of healing thoughts show a positive treatment effect in a limited number of research studies.  Overall, the experimental evidence although sketchy warrants further study of these areas.

Sources

Caroline Watt & Ian Tiermey, Varieties of Anomalous Experience:  Examining the Scientific Evidence, 2014

Cardena, Etzel, The Experimental Evidence for Parapsychological Phenomena:  A Review, American Psychologist, 2018, 73(5), 663-667.

                               WHITE COAT PANIC SYNDROME

I suffer from “White Coat Panic Syndrome” every time I go to my doctor.  Even when it is only a normal wellness checkup my distress level is always maxed.

Once while I was at a routine doctor visit, I decided to reduce my anxiety by telling the doctor an amusing story I had read in the newspaper.  A patient completed a regular wellness physical exam in a doctor’s office and was informed he was in perfect health, but on the way out of the office had a heart attack and died while opening the door to exit.  My doctor impishly smiled as if he had heard this story before.  He informed me that when this happened in his office, he just turned them around as if they were walking in the office instead of leaving.  My panic level quickly accelerated.  It briefly crossed my mind that to be careful opening the door when I left.

The lesson from this story is don’t try to be witty while in the doctor’s office.

 

HAVE YOU EVER MADE A PROMISE TO YOURSELF WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING?  

I made a promise about thirty years ago when for some unknown reason one day I had this sudden insight that I would not live forever, that life was very tenuous.  Anything could happen at any moment.  Hastily, I made a promise to myself, which has influenced me every day since. 

I privately promised to the best of my ability, not to do anything that I could control to shorten my life.  I wanted to live as long as I could.  I did not want to die from something I had caused.  For example, I decided not to smoke, to eat healthy, to stay away from people who pulled me down when I could, to live more for the moment, and to pursue a low stress lifestyle.  Up to now, my promise has been going well.
 

                                DOGS KNOW WHO TO TRUST

 Dogs are able to recognize human social cues better than other animals according to university researchers.  Furthermore, dog-human relationships appear to be more positive than most relationships between humans.

In one interesting experimental study, dogs watched an experimenter interact with two other humans, one a designated helper and one a designated non-helper.  Dogs observed two scenes.  In the first scene, when the experimenter reached for a clipboard just out of reach, the designated helper handed them the clipboard.  In the second scene, the designated non-helper moved the clipboard further away when the experimenter reached for the clipboard.  The scene was repeated.

RESULTS

The dogs quickly developed a preference for the designated helper and ignored the designated non-helper. 

Does this mean that dogs may be socially smarter than humans?  If so, I propose we all start taking “barking lessons” to improve relationship them.

SOURCES

Gregory Burns, Professor of psychology and distinguished professor of neuroeconomics, Emory University, Monitor on Psychology, October 2025

Silver, Animal Cognition, Vol. 24, No. 1, 2021

Eniko Kubinyl, Scientific Reports, Vol. 15, 2025

             EVERY SO OFTEN INTENTIONALLY PROCRASTINATE

There may be some unexpected benefits of delaying a task

A study reported in the book Originals by Adam Grant indicated that when you procrastinate, intentionally delaying work that needs to be done, you allow yourself time to engage in divergent thinking and, as result, come up with better solutions.  Procrastination as it turns out is a common habit of great creative thinkers.  While procrastination may be counterproductive most of the time, it may be valuable when solving complex problems.  Have you ever put something off that kept nagging at you until “out of the blue” a new or better solution popped up?

                       CHOCOLATE CAKE MAKES US HONEST

Social psychologist Dr. Dan Ariely in an experimentally designed research study demonstrated that if people are hungry or thirsty they are more likely to behave dishonestly.  Therefore, if you want me to own up to the truth give me a piece of cake first.  (Chocolate cake works better for me better than a lie detector test.)

My conclusion from this study is to eat plenty of your favorite desert if you want to be an honest person.

SOURCE

The Valjean effect:  Visceral States and Cheating, Emotion, Vol.16, 2016

                                                Age

Society employs chronological age as the marker of aging.  However, a study has shown that chronological age does not explain or consistently predict the physical changes of aging.  Instead, individuals’ subjective perception of age provides a more reliable predictor of physical changes, particularly in late life.  If you believe you are older, age-related health problems may increase and if you believe you are younger, age-related health problems may be less.

CONCLUSION:  Subjective belief about your age is associated with acceleration or deceleration of physical aging, therefore, it could be seen as the real age. 

Think younger!

SOURCE

Joel Petashnick, Yaakov Hoffman, Amit Shrira, Yuval Palgi, Gitit Kave, Dov Shmotkin, and Ella Cohen-Schwartz, Subjective Age and Personality Traits in Older Adults:  Reciprocal and Indirect Effects Through Positive and Negative Effect, Canadian Journal of Behavioral Science, 2025, Vol. 57, No. 1, 53-58

​ THOSE WHO MAKE THINGS SIMPLE, CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.

Albert Einstein said, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.  It takes a touch of genius---and a lot of courage---to move in the opposite direction.”

When I read this several years ago, I decided to work at becoming a simplifier.  I have made a concentrated effort to simplify all areas of my life.  So far, I haven’t changed the world, but I am happier.

                                       MESSAGE TO SNEEZERS

According to two university researchers, we can predict that in the next second there’ll be roughly 86,000 sneezes worldwide.

If just half of all sneezers decided to blow their nose after a sneeze, we would soon be faced with a worldwide of shortage trees, which would lead to oxygen reduction in the atmosphere and a lot more sneezes.  We need to do something right now!!

My suggestion is for all of us to dedicate one day a week to not sneezing, consequently, saving trees as well as tons and tons of tissue paper.

SOURCE

B. Hansen and N. Mygind, How Often Do Normal Persons Sneeze and Blow Their Nose, Rhinology, Vol. 40, No. 1, March 2002, 10-12.

*Endorsed by the Society for the Preservation of Merriment

      HOW TO TELL A REALLY GOOD LIE AND GET AWAY WITH IT

I’ve been told that all of us are liars, some more than others.  Hence, it occurred to me to find out what the really good liars are like.  I discovered that the best liars are crooks, mainly because they delightfully understand that people can be easily taken in by a crafty liar.  Here are a few of “recovered” crooks suggestions on how to tell a really good lie. 

Keep the lie simple.  A short and simple lie has less details and is therefore easier to understand.

However, make the simple lie a big one, a whopper.  Include colorful details.  Pizazz it up to give the lie plausibility.  People are more likely to believe a big lie.

Keep telling the lie over and over and over.  Don’t back down.  Act as if you believe the lie.  Eventually some or even most will believe it.

Warning: These suggestions may not work with your mother.  I was never successful in stretching the truth with mine.  She had a built-in fib detector.  So, be aware that some people may have a built-in fib detector.

Sources

Arielly, Dan, The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty:  How We Lie to Everyone—Especially Ourselves, Harper Collins Publisher, New York, New York, 2012.

Ringuist, Evan & Dasse, Carl, Lies, Damned Lies, and Campaign Promises?, Social Science Quarterly, 2004, Vol. 85(2), 400-419.

                        WARNING:  DON’T SLEEP IN CHURCH

It' amazing how one brief event can affect someone for the rest of their life.

Growing up, we were a religious family, church every Sunday morning regardless.  I remember one “hell-fire-and brimstone” visiting evangelist throwing a hymnbook into the congregation during his sermon one Sunday morning because he saw a man sleeping.  The hymnbook went right over my head, bounced off a pew and sounded like it had knocked someone’s head off.  It was a real eye-opener for a ten-year old.

I supposed the congregation woke up.  I was ever alert after that episode because I wanted to keep my head on. 

To this day, I still feel a bit queasy when I hear the words “visiting evangelist.”

                                 PULL FOR THE UNDERDOG 

Unfortunately, most underdogs end up losing.  Only a few triumph.  So, why should one be drawn to underdogs knowing there is only a slight likelihood they will succeed?  It’s because underdogs’ determination to succeed in the face of nearly insurmountable obstacles is inspiring.  For me, the small fry struggling to triumph overrides the bad feelings of losing and encourages hope.  
 

                            CAN MONEY BUY HAPPINESS?

Money can buy some happiness.  However, it only buys a little happiness.  The richest Americans, those earning more than ten million dollars annually, reported levels of personal happiness only slightly greater than the office staffs and blue-collar workers they employ.

Source

Diener, E., Suh, E. M., Lucas, R. E. and Smith, H. L. (1999) Subjective Well-Being:  Three decades of progress, Psychological Bulletin,125: 376-302.

                    LESSONS I LEARNED FROM MY FIRST JOB

Self-monitor what you are doing and keep a written list. You will probably have to justify your actions sooner or later to your boss.  Be ready.

Never lose your temper.

Always show up on time.

Figure it out by yourself if possible----ask, read, learn, listen.

Pay attention to details and follow through.

Get along with everyone in the office.

Be helpful when you can.

Never whine or complain, even when you are right.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE, AMERICANS ARE BECOMING MORE COOPERATIVE

Democracies depend on cooperation to be prosperous.  Unfortunately, there is a general belief that cooperation has been declining in the United States for several decades.  This may not be true, however.

A meta-analysis of 511 studies with 600 unique samples involving 63, 342 participants that occurred from 1956 to 2017 was conducted.  The researchers found no evidence for a decline in cooperation over the 61-year period.  Instead, they found a slight increase in cooperation.

Source

Mingliang Yuan, Giulianna Spardaro, Shuian Jin, Junhui We, Yu Kou, Pal Van Lange, and Daniel Balliet, Did Cooperation Among Strangers Decline in the United States?  A Cross-Temporal Meta-Analy sis of Social Dilemmas (196=56-2017), Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 14 8, Nos. 3-4, 120-157

 

WHAT IF YOUR DOCTOR CONCLUDES THAT YOU HAVE A SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION?

Suppose you go to the doctor for an extensive physical checkup and your doctor returns to the examination room conveying undeniable news of a medical condition that will impair your health in multiple ways.  Its relentless advance will erode your ability to see, hear, and think clearly. You will lose access to your favorite activities as the conditions saps your energy and strength. You’ll become increasingly vulnerable to an array of other afflictions, such as coronary heart disease, stroke, atherosclerosis, pneumonia, arthritis, and diabetes.

You’ve probably already identified the medical condition—the process of growing old.  You would think that as we mentally and physically deteriorate we would become progressively sad and unhappy as a result.  But this does not happen!  Old age produces the opposite result.  According to extensive psychological research, the elderly feel happier, than they did when younger, stronger, and healthier.

 

       SENIORS ARE NOT AS EASY TO RATTLE AS YOUNG PEOPLE

Negativity has a lesser effect on seniors.  Researchers found that in a wide variety of cognitive tasks, negativity impaired younger adults’ performance significantly more than older adults.  It was also found that seniors get over negative events quicker than younger people.

Source 

Souza, Alessandra, Lemaire, Patrick, (Aix-Marselle Universite’), Aging, Emotion, and Cognition:  The Role of Strategies, Journal of Experimental Psychology:  General, 2024, Vol. 153, No. 2, 435-453

WHAT WE ARE LEARNING FROM RESEARCH ABOUT OUR FUTURE BRAIN

Futurists scientists believe that one day in the not to distance future we will be able to save our memories on a computer.  Perhaps it is a matter of time before we can insert artificial memories into human brains or store human memories while repairing damaged parts of the brain and then reinserting the stored memories.

We will also be able to download programs into our memory from computers.  Imagine that you wanted to visit another country with a different language and before you go you download the language of that country into your memory.  Sounds “way out” doesn’t it?  In animal studies, scientists have already been able to record a memory made by mice and store it digitally in a computer. 

SOURCE

The Future of the Mind by Dr. Michio Kaku, June 26, 2015
 

                          NOT ME…I NEVER LIE OR CHEAT!

Several well-designed experimental research studies by behavioral scientists found that we can be liars and cheaters some of the time if we believe we will not get caught.  We are especially prone to cheat on small transgressions instead of big ones.  Furthermore, researchers found that most people when directly confronted with proof of dishonesty will maintain their innocence.

Source

Dan Ariely, The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty

                            RULE 11:  DO NOT BACK DOWN

No one lives a problem free life.  Sooner or later we all face formidable difficulties, many which may even be considered insurmountable.

Nevertheless, the pathway to happiness is to be tenacious, adventurous and intrepid.  Stand up and face life’s challenges even though you do not always succeed, and never give up on the important things that matter to you. 

An unconquerable spirit will propel you toward happiness and success most of the time.  However, even when you fail, ultimately you will be happier because you will know that in failure you dared greatly.

Incidentally, I read one study where people failed after giving their best effort.  Their self-esteem actually increased.  It was effort that was the positive intervening variable.  Give your best, you will be happier.

 

                      STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE

Consciously avoid them if you can.  Negative people will drag you down.  If you cannot avoid negative people in your life, at least do not buy into or accept their negativity.

Look for people who lead you to feel more optimistic and less cynical and pessimistic. 

                              ARE THERE ANGELS AMONG US?

There are angels among us despite the many horrific things we observe people doing to each other.  Angels give more than they take; they attempt to make things better for others; they are the loving mothers and fathers; the workers who show up every day and do their best; the community volunteers; the teachers who prepare us for the world; the healthcare workers valiantly saving lives at their own peril; the people who say thank you, and those who dare greatly to take a stand for improving the human condition.  I could go on forever.  Regrettably, the evil among us gets more publicity.   Look for an angel today.  They are here among us even in these difficult times.  Or, better yet, become an angel.

​                               USE MORE POSITIVE WORDS

With the use of positive words, moods can be elevated.  Researchers Dr. John Bargh, Dr. Mark Chen and Dr. Lara Burrows demonstrated how easily a positive or negative mood-state could be fashioned by merely giving two groups of volunteers a list of positive or negative words to read.  One group read a list of positive words and one read group a list of negative words for about ten minutes.  An evaluation of their mood was completed immediately before and after reading the list of words.  They found that readers of negative words had a significant drop in mood while readers of positive words had a significant rise in mood, unmistakably demonstrating that our choice of words can readily produce a good or bad mood state.

Source

Bargh, J. A., Chen, M., & Burrows, L., “Automaticity of Social Behavior:  Direct Effects of Trait Construct and Stereotype Activation on Action”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1996, 71(2), 231-244.

                       THE OBITUARY RESEARCH PROJECT

Thoughtful things people did during their lifetimes.  Excerpted from the analysis of 2,100 obituaries obtain from two newspapers. 

A man clipped and mailed comics and editorial cartoons to friends to bring enjoyment to their lives.  Another man listened carefully to find out what was important to his friends and then would send news articles to support those interests.  A woman visited sick friends in the hospital to bring her trademark “apple and flower” to cheer them.  A man kept a pocketful of teabags to give to those he met.  He often mailed tea bags with a note to “Join me for a cup of tea.”  He was known as the “Tea Man.  I thought it was a wonderful project when a man became a pen pal with a first grade reading class.  Four or five times each year, for ten years, the kids would each write a note to him. He would then write each student a personal response, sent with candy and small toys.

                                  IDEAS TO THINK ABOUT

ASK YOURSELF, WHAT MAKES ME COME ALIVE and then go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive. 

MAKE A PERSONAL COMMITMENT TO NOTICE EVERYTHING THAT INSPIRES YOU. Consciously look for inspirations.  Something someone says or does, a book, an article in a magazine, a work of art, are among the many sources of inspiration that may encourage you to be more positive. 

Why DO SOME PEOPLE HAVE SO MUCH AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE SO LITTLE?

 

                              Email: drmelwhitehurst@gmail.com

Notes from a Psychologist
Dr. Mel Whitehurst